Regular Post About Nothing Special... I MADE YUMMY BANANA MUFFINS!

     So it's been a while since I've made a regular post about nothing super special. Today I would like to let you all know... that I can be a successful baker! I have successfully managed to bake tasty banana chocolate chip muffins. Oh my goodness, I'm actually a little bit surprised that I'm not fat. I mean, seriously... I drink a lot of soft drinks and I really like food; It's a little bit of a wonder really.

     In other good news, I've been given a few additional hours at work, so I don't have to worry as much about that being a problem... though I'm still searching for some kind of additional work. Speaking of work, I have made my first five dollars on Fiverr by talking to someone about something they've required. So I've made a little bit of success on that front.

     Additional success includes getting my first couple subscribers on YouTube and continuing to grow my group of followers on Twitch. So here's hoping something good can happen out of something coming up in the future. I have high hopes for a lot of things right now; as always, it's just a matter of patience. It's always a matter of patience...

~ Kyle

Yay Job Interview!

     Just had a job interview today; I think it went quite well! It's always hard to tell whether or not an interview goes well, so here's hoping that I did well enough to land the job. It would be a lovely full-time job that would pay my rent and more, putting me in a comfortable position to actually enjoy myself for a little while without worrying all the days.

     In the mean time, I'll keep applying to other opportunities just in case I didn't get the job from today, and I'll continue to focus on my ever growing Twitch stream as I have the time to do so. I've managed to get sponsorship for my stream, so I look forward to hopefully seeing an increase in viewers and I hardly even know what to say I'm SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!

     Some days are better than others. Life will always have ups and downs, but I know that a balance will be reached in time. As with everything else, it all takes patience. Have an awesome day everybody!

~ Kyle

I Don't Know What To Do With Myself

     I hardly know what to do. There's so much I want to talk about, but there's nobody I want to talk about it with. I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to pay rent in the future. I'm worried that by the time I'm able to get another job, I'll be too far in debt to do anything about it. There's so much more that I want to talk about, but I'm not ready to talk about it because I just don't know.

     So here I am giving my hands something to do. They need something to do. Something good to do. Maybe some people don't find this productive, but I think it helps. I don't really have much of importance to say if anything right now. I hardly feel like this is worth posting, but I'm going to anyways.

     One one hand I'm really happy about some things that are happening right now. On the other hand, I'm really sad about other things that are happening. I'm sure it'll all sort itself out in time. I just don't know how exactly I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I want to be doing my own thing, but I have to get myself a job, and I'm trying to be a good friend all at the same time. Ugh............................. Make the stress go away. Perhaps a massage... or a puppy... anything. I'm thinking the puppy.

     If I manage to get myself a good job and don't have any reason not to in the near future... I'm going to get myself a puppy. Then I won't need to worry about anything else. I'll just be able to feel better about everything by having snuggles all the time every night. Snuggles are awesome. I need more snuggles. I need less stress and more snuggles... and I guess I need patience in my life. It's so hard to be patient, but somehow there has to be some somewhere. Everything will get better when everyone and everything is patient. I just hope life doesn't wait too long to get back to awesomeness.

~ Kyle 

The Anticipation Is Killing Me

     I've had people complain about me being too slow, or taking too much time to do things or say something. I think it's one of my strongest qualities to be so patient. One of the hardest things to do is to wait for something. I've definitely been in some situations in my life that have required me to wait for something to happen. Yeah, I absolutely get just as impatient as the next person when having to wait for a period of time for something to happen. Even a short time sometimes feels like an eternity.

     Once again I find myself waiting. Perhaps I'm waiting for nothing. Or perhaps I'm waiting for what I've always wanted in my life. I can't really be sure as of yet. All I know is that once again, I find myself waiting for something in my life. It sucks to have to wait, but I believe having adequate patience is the difference between true happiness and settling due to rushing too quickly. I want to find the missing piece of myself that is floating throughout the world somewhere. I'm confident that with a little bit of effort on my part, and some patience... I will find that which I am looking for.

     If you're reading this right now thinking about how much you want something to just happen already... perhaps you're in the same position. Maybe you just need to slow down a little and take the time to let things happen on their own time. There are many things that can seem right at the time when done quickly... but in the end, you realize it's all just a cover-up. Anything that is rushed too quickly will only leave you feeling like something is wrong afterwords. Perhaps you'll try to bring back that spark by having more of it, but it won't be the same. Rushing through something before you're truly ready may give you a rush that you'll forever be searching for after the fact. A feeling that will be difficult to ever get again.

     The words "I Love You" for instance. The first time these words are said in a new relationship should be a special time; one which should not be rushed. Said too soon, and the words may feel awkward... or they could feel like the beginning of a roaring flame. That uneasiness when you're unsure if the time is right may translate into a rush of adrenaline as you say those amazing words. And then forever after, your memory of the experience is one of adrenaline... one that you likely cannot replicate. Thus, every time those words are used after that moment, it will feel like a band-aid that doesn't quite cover the scratch. More and more band-aids you try to put on the scratch, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't quite cover it.

     And so I say to have patience. As hard as it can be, it is a must if anything is to ever last. Patience with activities, but more importantly with people. Any relationship, whether a friend, relative, or significant other... needs patience and understanding between the two. In the end, having patience will pay off. So have patience with everything you do. Patience is the key to happiness no matter the timeline.

~ Kyle