The Anticipation Is Killing Me

     I've had people complain about me being too slow, or taking too much time to do things or say something. I think it's one of my strongest qualities to be so patient. One of the hardest things to do is to wait for something. I've definitely been in some situations in my life that have required me to wait for something to happen. Yeah, I absolutely get just as impatient as the next person when having to wait for a period of time for something to happen. Even a short time sometimes feels like an eternity.

     Once again I find myself waiting. Perhaps I'm waiting for nothing. Or perhaps I'm waiting for what I've always wanted in my life. I can't really be sure as of yet. All I know is that once again, I find myself waiting for something in my life. It sucks to have to wait, but I believe having adequate patience is the difference between true happiness and settling due to rushing too quickly. I want to find the missing piece of myself that is floating throughout the world somewhere. I'm confident that with a little bit of effort on my part, and some patience... I will find that which I am looking for.

     If you're reading this right now thinking about how much you want something to just happen already... perhaps you're in the same position. Maybe you just need to slow down a little and take the time to let things happen on their own time. There are many things that can seem right at the time when done quickly... but in the end, you realize it's all just a cover-up. Anything that is rushed too quickly will only leave you feeling like something is wrong afterwords. Perhaps you'll try to bring back that spark by having more of it, but it won't be the same. Rushing through something before you're truly ready may give you a rush that you'll forever be searching for after the fact. A feeling that will be difficult to ever get again.

     The words "I Love You" for instance. The first time these words are said in a new relationship should be a special time; one which should not be rushed. Said too soon, and the words may feel awkward... or they could feel like the beginning of a roaring flame. That uneasiness when you're unsure if the time is right may translate into a rush of adrenaline as you say those amazing words. And then forever after, your memory of the experience is one of adrenaline... one that you likely cannot replicate. Thus, every time those words are used after that moment, it will feel like a band-aid that doesn't quite cover the scratch. More and more band-aids you try to put on the scratch, but no matter how hard you try, you just can't quite cover it.

     And so I say to have patience. As hard as it can be, it is a must if anything is to ever last. Patience with activities, but more importantly with people. Any relationship, whether a friend, relative, or significant other... needs patience and understanding between the two. In the end, having patience will pay off. So have patience with everything you do. Patience is the key to happiness no matter the timeline.

~ Kyle