What Happened Last Month

I find myself sitting here, wondering to myself... what happened last month? I'm really not going to go into the entire detail of what caused what and who did this and that. I think there's much more important lessons to learn from the events that transpired over the past month.

For anybody who doesn't know, my wife moved out for about one month and is now back home where she belongs. There are underlying issues which I believe this has brought forth and from this point things can go one of two ways: either we learn from this and become a stronger couple who work together, or we learn absolutely nothing at all except that perhaps we just don't work out as a couple. I like to think we have taken the first path of learning to be better together where rather than avoiding each other we take the time to talk and work through our issues.

My personal learning from this event has brought me to the conclusion that staying up all night long isn't the way to go, because it only makes me tired the next day and unable to function properly. As it turns out, sleeping at night definitely makes me more motivated and able to do things during the day. I suppose the fact that I start work most days by 7:00 am helps me be tired by the time it starts getting late at night... it also helps that I'm pretty much forced to get up at 6:30 or earlier every day (including days off) either because of the dogs going mental at stupid times of the night / morning, or because our DEAR SWEET baby girl now wakes up most days no later than 6:30 in the morning because she often goes to daycare before I start work... which also means I have to be up even earlier than usual.

I suppose I've also learned that I need to pay more attention to both Carley's an my own needs and emotions and we need to work at talking together instead of brushing things off and hoping that's the end of it; emotions are important and valid, even when they seem stupid. Though someone else's problems may not make sense and may seem insignificant to you, those problems may be much more meaningful to them.

On that note, I've learned things about myself as well; such as that I am important, and I can do things for myself as well as others. I still don't like going out of the house very much, but I am feeling much better about myself. The most troubling thing I'm currently dealing with is finding the motivation to get things done while I'm not on working time or taking care of Isabelle... instead of sleeping. I seriously hate sleep; I wish I never had to sleep ever again... but it feels soooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooood to sleep and / or nap.

I do have a lot of plans on the go right now though: Dates with Carley, playing with and teaching Isabelle, cleaning and organizing the house so that we can actually find things and not feel like it (the basement) is cluttered, making blog posts and videos, and somehow finding all the time to do all of this and keep going without running out of energy! ........ Oh... I also want to get into a regular habit of taking the dogs for a walk, and playing games with friends (most importantly my wife), and drawing / doodling, maybe taking the time to colour, read some books, get into biking once the weather clears up... there's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all.

Every day is a learning experience, but we'll get there... together.

~ Kyle Welykholowa ^_^

Almost Two Weeks Already.

     It's hard to believe it has already been nearly two weeks since the birth of our daughter. Personally I'm not a fan of all the crying and loud noises, but so far it hasn't been TOO bad. I think Carley and I are starting to get a sort of rhythm going. Surely there will be much more challenges to come, but at the moment, I think we're doing pretty well.

     Both of us have been on and off tired at different times and let me tell you... when you have a baby, there isn't much time to have everything planned out like you may have used to do. I like to plan things out and get things done at certain times, so on, and so forth. Now... I try to get everything I'm hoping to done during the quiet times that I have until the next time I hear that familiar crying sort of whining thing. It's not all cries and awful noises though, she's really not all that bad. I'm absolutely looking forward to days when she's more communicative and talkable and things.

     The best news is that Furgle is amazing with her. He likes to sniff her a lot and get his nose right up in her face, but he doesn't lick her too much or try to bite at her and things. He still likes to hang around with us and normally isn't too much of a pain. Carley takes him out for a walk almost every day because she's trying to get back into shape and healthy before having her jaw surgery and then doing this process all over again. Furgle is definitely still our baby and will continue to be as long as we have him.

     I'm glad it seems like we've figured out something that works for all of us before my finals for this semester and the start of next semester. With work, school, and our daughter, it's certainly a lot of work to handle each and every day, but it's all working towards getting what we need for our family. Soon enough I'll be able to start applying for a better-paying job so we won't have to live so tightly when it comes to spending.

We'll get there for sure, it's only a waiting game now. Have a great day everybody! ^_^

~ Kyle Welykholowa

I Don't Know What To Do With Myself

     I hardly know what to do. There's so much I want to talk about, but there's nobody I want to talk about it with. I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to pay rent in the future. I'm worried that by the time I'm able to get another job, I'll be too far in debt to do anything about it. There's so much more that I want to talk about, but I'm not ready to talk about it because I just don't know.

     So here I am giving my hands something to do. They need something to do. Something good to do. Maybe some people don't find this productive, but I think it helps. I don't really have much of importance to say if anything right now. I hardly feel like this is worth posting, but I'm going to anyways.

     One one hand I'm really happy about some things that are happening right now. On the other hand, I'm really sad about other things that are happening. I'm sure it'll all sort itself out in time. I just don't know how exactly I'm supposed to be feeling right now. I want to be doing my own thing, but I have to get myself a job, and I'm trying to be a good friend all at the same time. Ugh............................. Make the stress go away. Perhaps a massage... or a puppy... anything. I'm thinking the puppy.

     If I manage to get myself a good job and don't have any reason not to in the near future... I'm going to get myself a puppy. Then I won't need to worry about anything else. I'll just be able to feel better about everything by having snuggles all the time every night. Snuggles are awesome. I need more snuggles. I need less stress and more snuggles... and I guess I need patience in my life. It's so hard to be patient, but somehow there has to be some somewhere. Everything will get better when everyone and everything is patient. I just hope life doesn't wait too long to get back to awesomeness.

~ Kyle 

A Good Week

     I haven't had much time to do anything else in the past week other than work, but I have to say it's been pretty nice actually making some money. So far, I've really enjoyed my new job; everyone I work with is really nice. Everybody is super awesome and easy to talk to. I've only had a couple customers so far who haven't seemed to be in the best of moods, but other than that, I'm really enjoying it. Even though talking to people all day is really tiring for me, I do enjoy helping people get through their day and I hope that just a simple smile and good mood might make their day.

     I don't have much to talk about at the moment. Not a lot of things have happened; which I would have to say is pretty nice at this point. I'm enjoying the quiet and the lack of events going on. Some people like having things going on all the time, but I prefer to not have much going on. I'm not really concerned about what exactly I want at the moment. I'm just enjoying the time to myself and hopefully enough time to work on the things that I want to work on.

     Here's hoping we can get some videos uploaded in the next few days! ^_^

 ~ Kyle