What Happened Last Month

I find myself sitting here, wondering to myself... what happened last month? I'm really not going to go into the entire detail of what caused what and who did this and that. I think there's much more important lessons to learn from the events that transpired over the past month.

For anybody who doesn't know, my wife moved out for about one month and is now back home where she belongs. There are underlying issues which I believe this has brought forth and from this point things can go one of two ways: either we learn from this and become a stronger couple who work together, or we learn absolutely nothing at all except that perhaps we just don't work out as a couple. I like to think we have taken the first path of learning to be better together where rather than avoiding each other we take the time to talk and work through our issues.

My personal learning from this event has brought me to the conclusion that staying up all night long isn't the way to go, because it only makes me tired the next day and unable to function properly. As it turns out, sleeping at night definitely makes me more motivated and able to do things during the day. I suppose the fact that I start work most days by 7:00 am helps me be tired by the time it starts getting late at night... it also helps that I'm pretty much forced to get up at 6:30 or earlier every day (including days off) either because of the dogs going mental at stupid times of the night / morning, or because our DEAR SWEET baby girl now wakes up most days no later than 6:30 in the morning because she often goes to daycare before I start work... which also means I have to be up even earlier than usual.

I suppose I've also learned that I need to pay more attention to both Carley's an my own needs and emotions and we need to work at talking together instead of brushing things off and hoping that's the end of it; emotions are important and valid, even when they seem stupid. Though someone else's problems may not make sense and may seem insignificant to you, those problems may be much more meaningful to them.

On that note, I've learned things about myself as well; such as that I am important, and I can do things for myself as well as others. I still don't like going out of the house very much, but I am feeling much better about myself. The most troubling thing I'm currently dealing with is finding the motivation to get things done while I'm not on working time or taking care of Isabelle... instead of sleeping. I seriously hate sleep; I wish I never had to sleep ever again... but it feels soooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooood to sleep and / or nap.

I do have a lot of plans on the go right now though: Dates with Carley, playing with and teaching Isabelle, cleaning and organizing the house so that we can actually find things and not feel like it (the basement) is cluttered, making blog posts and videos, and somehow finding all the time to do all of this and keep going without running out of energy! ........ Oh... I also want to get into a regular habit of taking the dogs for a walk, and playing games with friends (most importantly my wife), and drawing / doodling, maybe taking the time to colour, read some books, get into biking once the weather clears up... there's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all.

Every day is a learning experience, but we'll get there... together.

~ Kyle Welykholowa ^_^

=== Getting Laid ===

     A few weeks ago, I found myself getting laid... off from my job. While that's certainly something you don't expect to see coming, I wasn't totally surprised due to some other people getting laid off previously as well. At this point I'm still looking for a new job, but strangely I think we're doing better now than we were doing before. We finally have all of our bills paid including our credit card and we still have some money to spare for groceries and gas and whatnot.

     This is a situation we didn't actively plan for, but now that we find ourselves in this position, we surprisingly aren't as worried as we had expected we would be. The craziest thing for me right now is that I'm having so much more time to see my sweet Isabelle than before. I'm learning new things about her that I didn't know before and watching her grow and start to do things that she wasn't able to before either. It's amazing to be able to watching all of this happening from the comfort of my own home... rather than for only half an hour every morning and an hour each evening.

     I've become a stay-at-home dad at this point. Honestly, I didn't really think it would be so difficult to keep up with all the daily housework and things that have to get done. On one hand, I'm exhausted and worn out and I don't want to keep doing anything, but on the other hand, I'm getting things done and getting the house slowly organized and it feels great! I think I might be a little bit sad that I'm going to have to go back to work at some point (preferably sooner rather than later).

     One thing I would like so say is that I have no hard feelings towards Boardwalk at all. That's unfortunately just a part of business sometimes. I would still work for them if a favourable opportunity presented itself, but I will admit that I am enjoying a bit of time off where I can do some other things for a bit including paying a bit more attention to this here blog. I have big plans you guys, big plans. Much to do, much to do. Everything will come together in no time and soon enough you'll be reading about me almost every day! (Or maybe not, who knows? :P )

~ Kyle Welykholowa

Upcoming Midterms

     Next week will be my first set of tests for this course. I guess I'll find out whether or not I'm truly learning anything in my classes. It's a little bit exciting to get a chance to see how well I'm assimilating information. So far a lot of the information has been a review of things I've already known or previously learned, but there's still things that I need to go over and practice before I'll feel perfectly ready for my tests. If I do well on these tests, then I'll feel much better about more schoolwork coming up in the future.

     That's really my random thought of the day right now. Besides that, I hope everybody has a wonderful day. I know I've been quite happy recently even though I've had to get up so early in the morning. Actually, I really never thought I'd ever be a morning person, but I do find it much easier to wake up in the morning now since working at the kennel.

     Anywhos, that's a story for another day. Have a wonderful day everybody. You're all fantastic! ^_^

~ Kyle

"Life doesn't happen to you... it happens FOR you."

     I heard this quote by Jim Carrey in a video on Facebook just last night. It was a video of a bunch of things he has said, but this one really got my attention. I've been thinking about it pretty much all night.

     Sometimes I find myself guilty of thinking "Why has this happened to me?" or "What have I done to deserve this?" It's a mindset that promotes the idea that Life is out to get me. The reality of it, is that my life isn't trying to get back at me. Things come and go as life goes on, and it's up to whomever is living that life to either take those experiences that happen and do something with them, or forget about them.

     People like to label some experiences they regret as "mistakes"... but they're still an experience that you have now had. Whether it was in fact a mistake or not, I don't think it's right to forget about; It's something you chose to do. I don't think something can be a mistake if you didn't make the choice to do it. I think these experiences should be taken, remembered, and learned from.

     Now of course there are some experiences in life that some would rather not remember. These are usually the experiences that were not the choice of the life-user, but rather they tend to be the choices of others. Though these are harder to think about, I still think they are a part of a person's story. Every story has good and bad parts to it. In the end, it's the journey that matters. Nobody would have a story without a journey. We're here to work through our journey so that in the end, we have a story to tell about how we got there. After all... isn't that what history is all about?

~ Kyle 

Getting Better

     I haven't felt awesome for the past couple weeks. Getting broken up with when you think everything is stable... especially over a text message you didn't know about that obviously means you must have cheated on the person you were in love with and did everything for... just because you didn't mention this text message that you didn't know about... is really difficult. I mean, I feel like shit... but at the same time I realize that if she so easily believed that I would cheat on her just because of a text message, then I guess we weren't meant for one another. The crappiest part is that I didn't even know about this text message that supposedly came from me. And it's difficult to believe that there ever was a text message because she didn't say anything about it. She just deleted it.

     So here I am, two weeks later. I'm feeling better; I'm eating again. I also got some work done. I have a bit to catch up on after not really going to school for a week, but luckily it's not too much to handle I think. I have decided that I don't want to go through with attempting to learn this math 226 class though. I mean I already missed at least two weeks of it before I was officially back in the class, and then with this life-drama going on, I just don't feel like I'm in a good position to try to learn something like that after missing so much.

     But the good news is that I went in today and got some work done! Finished my AutoCADD template including the block that had to be updated which included me needing to learn about something new on my own. I'm feeling pretty good; Rather tired, but pretty good. I think next I'll tackle my new logo and finish the watch that's past due. But as long as I take things one thing at a time, I think I'll be good.

I can get through this. Everything will be better in the end.

~ Kyle

First Semester Finals

   Well, that wasn't so bad. I wasn't sure how I would do this first semester. It was my first whole semester back in school since high school. Now I know I could have done better than I did, but I'm actually quite happy to have only failed one class. Sure my other marks weren't as high as I probably would have liked, but I'm thinking it will be much easier now to focus on school this coming second semester now that I'm living in Moose Jaw with Carley who's working full-time.

   I managed to fail math. I've never been awesome at math, so I'm not too heartbroken over it. Obviously I would have liked to pass the class, but I'll get through it when I get the chance to take it again. The extra time to do it again, this time in the comfort of a closer home, will be good for me I think. I'll be able to take the time to go through my textbook and get math practice in. Especially since I don't have to worry about making money while I'm trying to learn school things.

   I guess I don't really have a lot to say today. Mostly I'm just really happy to be done my first whole semester. That's a milestone for me. It's been a while since I've actually accomplished something useful outside of my room or having a girlfriend. So here's hoping us moving here was the right choice. I know it will make my life in school easier, and I know Carley is really happy to finally have a job... even if it's a little hectic for her right now.

~ Kyle