What Happened Last Month

I find myself sitting here, wondering to myself... what happened last month? I'm really not going to go into the entire detail of what caused what and who did this and that. I think there's much more important lessons to learn from the events that transpired over the past month.

For anybody who doesn't know, my wife moved out for about one month and is now back home where she belongs. There are underlying issues which I believe this has brought forth and from this point things can go one of two ways: either we learn from this and become a stronger couple who work together, or we learn absolutely nothing at all except that perhaps we just don't work out as a couple. I like to think we have taken the first path of learning to be better together where rather than avoiding each other we take the time to talk and work through our issues.

My personal learning from this event has brought me to the conclusion that staying up all night long isn't the way to go, because it only makes me tired the next day and unable to function properly. As it turns out, sleeping at night definitely makes me more motivated and able to do things during the day. I suppose the fact that I start work most days by 7:00 am helps me be tired by the time it starts getting late at night... it also helps that I'm pretty much forced to get up at 6:30 or earlier every day (including days off) either because of the dogs going mental at stupid times of the night / morning, or because our DEAR SWEET baby girl now wakes up most days no later than 6:30 in the morning because she often goes to daycare before I start work... which also means I have to be up even earlier than usual.

I suppose I've also learned that I need to pay more attention to both Carley's an my own needs and emotions and we need to work at talking together instead of brushing things off and hoping that's the end of it; emotions are important and valid, even when they seem stupid. Though someone else's problems may not make sense and may seem insignificant to you, those problems may be much more meaningful to them.

On that note, I've learned things about myself as well; such as that I am important, and I can do things for myself as well as others. I still don't like going out of the house very much, but I am feeling much better about myself. The most troubling thing I'm currently dealing with is finding the motivation to get things done while I'm not on working time or taking care of Isabelle... instead of sleeping. I seriously hate sleep; I wish I never had to sleep ever again... but it feels soooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooood to sleep and / or nap.

I do have a lot of plans on the go right now though: Dates with Carley, playing with and teaching Isabelle, cleaning and organizing the house so that we can actually find things and not feel like it (the basement) is cluttered, making blog posts and videos, and somehow finding all the time to do all of this and keep going without running out of energy! ........ Oh... I also want to get into a regular habit of taking the dogs for a walk, and playing games with friends (most importantly my wife), and drawing / doodling, maybe taking the time to colour, read some books, get into biking once the weather clears up... there's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all.

Every day is a learning experience, but we'll get there... together.

~ Kyle Welykholowa ^_^

=== The Quiet Amount Of Trouble ===

     Everything was going so well. This weekend I've been looking after Isabelle while Carley has been working and last night I experienced the quiet amount of trouble. The day had gone pretty well with minimal whining and crying from my little girl. I figured it would be a fine time to let her crawl around and take a little bit of time to relax to myself. So she crawled around and played with some toys on her own for a bit until she decided to crawl away into her room on her own.

     How could that sweet little face possibly cause any trouble? I think to myself as I hear some rummaging around coming from her room. I can tell this rummaging is the sound of her playing with her toys in her cardboard toy box. I also periodically hear the sound of her touching a plastic bag as well, but other than that, not much noise. After some time of relaxing on the couch and playing a game I figured I should go and check on her. I come to her room right as she's leaving her room and I notice her hands are quite a bit more white than they normally are. In face, they're pasty white... with some kind of paste on them. I looked up from her to see her toy chest covered in white paste as well on the top and the side... and an open container which is also covered in white inside and out. Not only that, but there was paste on the toy box, on her singing book, on various other toys, in the carpet... you name it. And all the while she was VERY upset that she had to be cleaned off from this. If she had her way, her hands would have stayed that way for the rest of the night.

     This is what she managed to get into; a container of Penaten. She was super quiet and didn't make a noise while doing so. For those of you who don't know what this stuff is, it's used to treat and prevent diaper rash. This stuff is a lot harder to clean off than I would have thought; especially when coming off of various inanimate objects. This just goes to show that a baby suddenly going quiet either means they're keeping themselves entertained with something good... or they're entertained because they're getting into something. I think I've learned my lesson this time.

~ Kyle Welykholowa

=== Mind Over Matter ===

I've come to realize that everything I do is a matter off the mind. For some time now I've been searching for ways to improve my productivity. As it turns out, that answer has been under my nose this whole time. Or should I say... behind it.

There are all sorts of things online claiming they can improve your mental focus and clarity. Do any of them work? Maybe... but are they really worth the money? I don't think so. See, there's an alternative which I think many people forget about; including myself. That option is quite simply.... doing it.

I sort of had this epiphany a couple nights ago when I forced myself to go to my computer late at night rather than laying down on the couch and falling asleep. I ended up staying up all night streaming on twitch and felt great after that I had done something fun and productive. In fact, I felt so great about it that I then enthusiastically cleaned up the kitchen and prepared for the day. This was accomplished because I made a decision to do something.

It can be quite difficult to tell your body to do these things when it is do exhausted, but it can be done if you put your mind to it... As long as your brain isn't out of juice as well. Yes, things like caffeine can help; I prefer to avoid needing any though if I can help it. Although... there is a real spectacular boost when you're able to effectively combine both caffeine and brain power.

I've seen people shut down no matter how much they want to keep going... including myself. The biggest hurdle really is resisting what the body is asking for and instead doing what YOU want to do.

So what do you say? Will you join me in putting your mind over matter?

~ Kyle Welykholowa

Incoming Baby!

     You really don't realize how unprepared you are for an incoming baby to pop into your life until you end up in the hospital twice either thinking you're going into labour or thinking you may have to be induced if you've managed to hurt yourself. Let me just say, first of all... it's just not fun to sit in the hospital for four hours. Luckily, our lovely hospital in Moose Jaw gets us in and looked at nice and quickly and they have touch-screen TV things that make the stay so much nicer than every other trip we've ever made to the hospital in Regina.

     Recently we've been into the hospital twice for two different reasons. The first time, Carley lost her mucous plug and started having a constant pain and consistent tightenings which made everything seem pretty real. We got a hospital bag and a snack bag packed and went off to the hospital. Turns out the baby just turned or dropped in a funny way which caused all the pain, but that along with the loss of the mucous plug certainly seemed like a reason to think it could have been going on. That... and we have no idea how much pain or what the feeling SHOULD be like once Carley ACTUALLY goes into labour.

     Our second trip to the hospital was because Carley fell down the stairs. I know! That's crazy, right? Don't worry, she's alright. At the time we were quite worried about the baby because Carley hadn't felt much movement if any since the fall and she normally feels lots of movement pretty often. She was also a little bit dehydrated because she wasn't feeling well and couldn't keep anything down throughout the day; not even water. This was concerning to us because she was leaking clear fluids after the fall which we thought could have been a ruptured bag of waters. The doctor came to take a look and found everything is well, so we stayed for another hour and a half which totalled four hours of sitting in the hospital to make sure everything was alright.

     Now I find myself thinking we need to prepare just a little bit more for the baby to get here. We have to install the car seat and get things a little bit more cleaned up; we have plans to move the furniture around in our living room and steam clean everything in the next couple days. I'm also finding that I need to get myself into more of a routine of doing things such as eating in the morning considering it'll be up to me to feel the baby in the mornings. Carley seems to like staying up later and honestly I prefer to be up late as well, but I may have to start going to be early and letting her stay up after me if I can ever get her to let me go to bed without her attached to me. I'm sure like most first-time parents we're going to be just as unprepared and clueless as everybody else and that's alright; it won't make us bad parents. I'm sure there will be times when we're just not sure what to do, or exhausted beyond belief and wanting to break down and cry, but we'll make it through. We're both stubborn people so I'm sure neither of us will let something beat us just because we're tired.

Wish us luck! ^_^

~ Kyle Welykholowa

My Amazing Girl

     There's an amazing girl in my life that I don't talk about enough. I don't have a large group of friends to talk to all the time, so not many people ever REALLY hear about Carley and how she's doing. Currently, we're doing awesome... or so I think. Carley is pretty tired lately, but we're getting quite close to the baby being born. I don't know how she does it really, she keeps on going and cleaning and taking care of the dog and now she has a cute little fish to care for as well. Soon we'll have a baby and thank goodness we're getting help from my mom and her aunt and more people or I don't know how we would handle it.

     Carley is so wonderful. She can be pretty intense sometimes, but how can I not love her? I know she'll never have a problem saying something when anything is bothering her and I certainly know she can defend herself if necessary; no matter whether that's physically or mentally. She is so strong, I can only do my best to support her as much as I can. I don't know anybody else who keeps as clean of a house as my Carley does. Seriously, I actually wouldn't be surprised if she somehow managed to keep everything clean even with the fish, the dog, and the baby in the house while I'm gone and she's on her own at home.

     For those of you who would like to know something interesting about Carley, she's starting to make her own bath bombs. If you're interested in buying some, she's selling them for:

 -- $2 for a small one, or 3 for $5.

-- $3 for a big one, or 2 for $5.

If you're interested, here's a link to her facebook where you can message her for more info:
  Carley's Bath Bombs

You're all wonderful as always! ^_^

~ Kyle Welykholowa