I Lost My Job With HGS

So for those of you who aren't aware, I lost my job. Crazy, right? I know!

I've had a lot of time to reflect on things with all of this unexpected spare time I now have which as led me to come to some realizations about working from home: Though it is convenient to be able to work from home and not require a second car, the scheduling is quite difficult to deal with. When I first started working for HGS (or Rogers as per my position), the scheduling was fine. I was able to schedule myself for 12-hour days earning myself much overtime and giving myself more time to spend with Carley and Isabelle because I'd have three whole days off! Every once in a while things would change a bit with how much hours were offered, but for the most part it was pretty consistent; then things changed.

It was around December when things went sour for a bit with myself and Carley. Between December, January, and February I used up all of my sick days by being depressed and not wanting to go to work. You'd be surprised how much an event like that could make a person not want to work even when working is as easy as walking downstairs and sitting at a computer where you never meet a person face-to-face. Luckily I was able to get through that and there was still plenty of hours to work at the right times that I pulled through. Being able to schedule yourself for 12-hour days at that point is quite nice for dealing with a situation like that where you need as many days off as possible.

After that event everything was good again and continued on quite well up until Carley got her job. Now I was (and still am) quite proud that she managed to find a job working at a care home and found what it is that she wants to do with herself moving forward into the future career-wise. The hard part with that is transitioning into having two full-time working parties in a relationship; this wouldn't be so bad if there were no child involved, but we do have a lovely little girl to take care of as well. So our little Isabelle needed to be enrolled in full-time daycare and we had to coordinate ourselves to having Carley working evenings (right up until 11:00 PM) and getting Isabelle to daycare as early as possible the next day (6:45 AM) so that I could then work during the time she'd be at daycare and then be done in time to pick her up. Now that would be perfect if not for two problems...

1) I'd have to schedule myself to start at 6:30 AM to be "done" by 3:00 PM. Now when I say DONE, what I mean is, I'd be done *IF* I didn't get a phone call that would last beyond that time. Of course if you get a phone call, you can't just hang up on a person and that call could potentially go overtime by an hour or more if it was a customer with a lot of questions or possibly an angry customer who wanted escalate to a manager. Hence, I had to be "done" by 3:00 PM to ensure I would have enough time to go get Isabelle before daycare is closed.

2) The part where I had to schedule myself for 6:30 AM. Carley is sleeping because of how late she was working and then able to get to bed after finally getting home late at night, and daycare doesn't open until 6:45 AM. Now we did manage to transition into being able to deal with this with Carley able to get up to take Isabelle then come back and go back to sleep (naturally there would be a bit of an adjustment period when not being used to working shifts like this).

There was a bit of another problem as well which sort of started to come up, but we didn't quite get around to that before I was let go. Carley was hired to work evenings at her care home, but wasn't being given consistent days to work, her schedule came out late, and she was starting to get a couple random day shifts; not too much of a problem... except where I'm working 7 days a week early in the morning to fit in all my required hours and there's no daycare on weekends. See the problem with that? Not able to just leave Isabelle locked in her room for a few hours while she's awake, huh?

So they let me go because I missed enough days and was late enough times that they felt it necessary to do... followed by immediately posting jobs to hire more employees. Now... I understand what happened and that it's obviously not great to be late so often and miss so much work, but the combination of knowing that I put out good scores in my work each month (amazing scores even), but then they're fire me due to absence and then immediately want to hire more people... hurts a little. I'm alright with it, and I've certainly learned my lesson from it; we need to work together to make sure everything is covered between us and care for our child.

So... now we're here. I have no job right now. Little update on Carley is that she's now working a new job as a housekeeper at a hotel which is a bit less pay and a bit less hours, but it's CONSISTENT hours. You really don't realize how important it is to have such consistent hours as a parent until you start having two working persons, requiring daycare, and having to coordinate with each other to get everything to work properly.

Wish me luck everybody as I figure out what to do with myself and how to get there. There's much job-hunting going on and I'm looking to keep myself busy while keeping the house in order during the time that I have.

~ Kyle Welykholowa

Keeping Up With Life Is Hard

I've kinda posted about this sort of thing before, but it's honestly quite hard to keep up with life sometimes.

There's so much I want to do and I always feel like I just don't have enough time to do it all. Yeah, a bunch of it is things like blogging and streaming which most people I know would probably think is a silly thing to want to do all the time, but for me it's a fun thing I like to do that makes me happy. There are other things I would like to do as well including reading, drawing, writing, and getting back into playing my violin.

The worrying part is when I feel so apathetic that I don't feel like doing any of these things, especially when I don't even feel like playing games which is normally a very fun thing for me to do. Lately I've found it very hard to get up enough willpower to do any of these things which is actually rather concerning to me now that I think about it. Besides being always tired, I find myself not really wanting to do anything and only really able to get up and be energetic for the purpose of working.

I have great plans for so many things I want to do and how I want to be great and energetic and happy and be so much fun, and then I find I'm fighting with myself to do anything else but sleep in my spare time. I find it very frustrating to feel like this, but at least I know I'm in a pretty good spot to deal with this sort of thing right now with my family close by me and a comfortable place to feel safe and able to handle my problems.

As always, look forward for more awesome things happening in the future. I may try to mix things up with a few longer and shorter posts just to keep things rolling every now and then even when I'm not totally feeling it.


Have a great day everybody! ^_^

~ Kyle Welykholowa

What Happened Last Month

I find myself sitting here, wondering to myself... what happened last month? I'm really not going to go into the entire detail of what caused what and who did this and that. I think there's much more important lessons to learn from the events that transpired over the past month.

For anybody who doesn't know, my wife moved out for about one month and is now back home where she belongs. There are underlying issues which I believe this has brought forth and from this point things can go one of two ways: either we learn from this and become a stronger couple who work together, or we learn absolutely nothing at all except that perhaps we just don't work out as a couple. I like to think we have taken the first path of learning to be better together where rather than avoiding each other we take the time to talk and work through our issues.

My personal learning from this event has brought me to the conclusion that staying up all night long isn't the way to go, because it only makes me tired the next day and unable to function properly. As it turns out, sleeping at night definitely makes me more motivated and able to do things during the day. I suppose the fact that I start work most days by 7:00 am helps me be tired by the time it starts getting late at night... it also helps that I'm pretty much forced to get up at 6:30 or earlier every day (including days off) either because of the dogs going mental at stupid times of the night / morning, or because our DEAR SWEET baby girl now wakes up most days no later than 6:30 in the morning because she often goes to daycare before I start work... which also means I have to be up even earlier than usual.

I suppose I've also learned that I need to pay more attention to both Carley's an my own needs and emotions and we need to work at talking together instead of brushing things off and hoping that's the end of it; emotions are important and valid, even when they seem stupid. Though someone else's problems may not make sense and may seem insignificant to you, those problems may be much more meaningful to them.

On that note, I've learned things about myself as well; such as that I am important, and I can do things for myself as well as others. I still don't like going out of the house very much, but I am feeling much better about myself. The most troubling thing I'm currently dealing with is finding the motivation to get things done while I'm not on working time or taking care of Isabelle... instead of sleeping. I seriously hate sleep; I wish I never had to sleep ever again... but it feels soooooooooooooo goooooooooooooooooood to sleep and / or nap.

I do have a lot of plans on the go right now though: Dates with Carley, playing with and teaching Isabelle, cleaning and organizing the house so that we can actually find things and not feel like it (the basement) is cluttered, making blog posts and videos, and somehow finding all the time to do all of this and keep going without running out of energy! ........ Oh... I also want to get into a regular habit of taking the dogs for a walk, and playing games with friends (most importantly my wife), and drawing / doodling, maybe taking the time to colour, read some books, get into biking once the weather clears up... there's so much I want to do and so little time to do it all.

Every day is a learning experience, but we'll get there... together.

~ Kyle Welykholowa ^_^