Backyard Light Project =11=

I've been keeping myself busy these days with a few projects around the house and a short time ago my time turned into a backyard light project. It actually all started with wanting to clean off the deck, but in my doing so I found a bag of string lights which I figured I could put to good use.

I was able to find a space where I could get the string of lights out of the inside deck area and wind them under the steps and around the pole to the side. These aren't super bright lights, but they make it much easier to see the dogs in the dark and to see enough of the backyard during that time without bothering the neighbors. It's amazing what you're able to do when you get creative enough while doing completely unrelated things.

~ Kyle Welykholowa

Sometimes it's just a short post about my thoughts.

     I've been told that people like reading my thoughts even if it's just something simple. So much so, that I should make a post every day, even if it's on nothing of interest. Well... I'll try to have something interesting to think about as often as possible. I can't promise having something to post about every day. Nor can I promise to have something interesting to think about on those days that I do post something. But I can make an effort to write more posts.

     I've thought about this a lot actually. If only I could be paid to write about my thoughts every day. Well... in theory... I COULD... but if that did happen, it would certainly take work and time. Not that that's a bad thing. I have a fantasy of finding something to enjoy doing every day and making money at it. Being successful at something I've created myself rather than being successful at a job that someone else came up with. I thought it was just a want to be a famous streamer or something... but after giving it some thought I realize that it's not just about a silly idea of playing games for a living... if I could play games, or write about things, or make artwork for a living and get paid for it... I think I would be really happy. I think it's that old creative me wanting to come out again.

     I used to be really creative. One of my best creations was a ship made out of popsicle sticks which I'll show a picture of. I've also had a couple drawings and paintings that I was really proud of that I unfortunately never got any pictures of and have been lost to the depths of moving multiple times. So now that I've had this time to think about things to myself, I have a better understanding of myself. Every time something new and significant happens, learn something new about myself and think that I must know all there is to know about me. And yet... I keep learning more about myself with every event. I'm a creative person. I know this... I just forgot about it.

     How can you forget about being creative? I know... it seems so silly that THAT could be possible; to forget something so significant about yourself. But when I think about it... it's not just something that I'm coming up with to try to be an interesting person. I'm not just making up stories to try to cope with having a crummy month earlier. I've done creative things that I've been proud of and others have recognized me for in the past. When I was a child, I used to play games with my friends that were all in our imagination. I loved being in impov in highschool. My favourite classes were the ones where we got to make funny videos and things. And heck, I still play table top games by myself, just because I think it's fun to think about everything going on even if it's on my own.

     I guess a person forgets about these kinds of things when being in school and worrying about money makes you think that you have to fit into some kind of cookie-cutter 9-5 job. I've tried really hard to understand these things and fit in and set myself up to be a guy with a good job and everything absolutely average and normal and all that. I think what really gave me this realization was watching a stream recently. LethalFrag gave this wonderful speech which really makes sense and I took to heart. He said, "If you don't like what you're doing, you're not going to enjoy your life. So find something you like to do, and do it. If you like cleaning and want to be a janitor for the rest of your life, be a janitor!" It's so simple. I don't know exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I do know that I want it to be something creative.

     Alright... so this wasn't quite as short as I thought it was going to be. Enjoy everybody and have a great day! ^_^

~ Kyle

I just feel like writing

     I've actually been in quite a creative mood lately. Not creative so much that I've wanted to make arts and crafts... only crafting words into coherent sentences and short-stories. But I really like writing. I mean, that's why I update this blog whenever I feel like it... so that I can share my words with everybody else.

     I'm still fighting with myself most days just to get out of bed. I still haven't gotten through the vast majority of projects I have to do for school, but as long as I can try just a little bit every day, that's all that matters. And I can only hope that the people who care are able to see what I've done; even if it hasn't been a lot.

     Today I managed to get myself out of the house to go for a little bit of groceries. So that's my accomplishment for today. It's not much, but at least I can say that I had the energy and will to get myself out of the house and take care of myself.

     I really wish I had more to tell you guys about today, but that's basically it. Perhaps I'll put up some of my stories on my blog some of these days.

~ Kyle

My Awesome Girlfriend.

     As you may be able to guess by the title, I have a girlfriend. We've been through a lot together in a little over a year now, and for all the things we've been through and done together, I love her so incredibly much. She tends to have troubles thinking she's beautiful enough, or smart enough, or even good enough. I can definitely say she's all of those things and more.

     She is without a doubt the most beautiful girl I have ever had the luxury of seeing. She worried about being over- or under-weight, but I don't even care. as long as I have a place beside her in my life I couldn't care if she were 90 or 300 pounds (though I know she wouldn't let herself get like that).

     She's certainly the smartest girl I've ever met. Her brain obviously works in a different way due to a mixture of ADHD and childhood traumas. Not to mention her mother's terrible choices while pregnant with her. But even with these hurdles, she managed to graduate high school ahead of time and then get a degree right after that way faster than most other people. Yeah, I would agree that she sometimes has troubles knowing what to do in certain situations. Sometimes she doesn't know how to handle certain situations. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. We all have problems of some kind. I haven't had the difficult childhood she had, and still, I'm not sure I would argue that I have better social or relationship skills than she has. We're all smart in our own way, and I value her brains in the creative and determined ways that she is smart.

     Now, due to my past relationships, I'm a pretty picky person. If someone wasn't treating me right, or if I didn't think they were worth it, I wouldn't stay with them. So when she wonders whether or not she's good enough... She is completely absolutely without a doubt good enough. I would jump in front of a train for her. Yeah, we've had our issues, but that has only made us stronger. I know that once she gets her job(s) and we're able to move in together, everything will turn out wonderful. I know you can do whatever you put your mind to my love. And I know that everything we've been through will have been worth it in the end. You my love, are more than good enough. You're my Carley.

~ Kyle