=== Crying, Babies, and Midterms ===

     So we've been handling our baby and wow, those midterms sure showed up fast; I didn't realize the spring semester would go by so quickly. Everything has been rushing by it seems with things to do every day followed by crying, crying, crying, and more crying... which results in sudden losses of consciousness at various times of the day when there is nothing immediately important to be doing. All of this however, is interrupted at equally random times of the day by more crying.

     This past month has been pretty much continuously assignments due at least every second day. As you may be able to imagine: driving 45 minutes to and from work every day, being short on sleep, trying to help with the baby, and then trying to get some school work done at the end of the day... it's a little bit difficult. There are times when things end up being late. There are times when things just don't get done at all. Currently, this includes booking a couple of my midterms... so I'm going to have to figure out how to still write those even though there is no available time to write them left in the system. Ugh...

     I look forward to the times when everybody is sleeping; the baby, the dog, and Carley. At these times I actually get some uninterrupted time to myself... for a bit. Inevitably someone ends up needing something. Carley needs a bit of help or attention or something to get done, the baby wakes up and wants........... I really don't know what, or the dog needs to get outside. I can't believe I'm thinking this, but the dog is probably actually the least needy at this time.

     I'm certainly looking forward to being done with my classes so I won't have to be doing so much all the time anymore. Oh how I can't wait to have proper time to think each day after I get home from work. One day Kyle... one day.

~ Kyle Welykholowa

Thoughts through my head.

     Usually I start a post with a title and an idea of what I want to talk about, but today I just sort of feel like talking about whatever and figuring out the title afterwords. This sort of blends into the fact that I find myself wanting to do quite a few things lately. I want to make some extra money on the side so Carley and I can go out for dates and things, I want to continue recording and posting my videos on YouTube, I want to read books, I want to stream on Twitch, I want to do homework ahead of time, I want to make blog posts. I want to do so much, but I don't even know where to start.

     Usually it's something like "I feel like I don't have the time to do that," but this time is really just a problem of not knowing where I want to start or what I want to do first. It's all so much fun to me that I hardly know how to contain myself, and yet when it comes time to do it... I don't know what to do. I don't think this is all a bad thing though, I think I just need to figure out what I'd like to do first and go from there. As I write I'm thinking of what I'd like to to later on today when I have the time to do so.

     I guess I have a dream of being able to do these sorts of things like blogging and video creating and actually making some money out of it. I think it would be pretty cool to make just $10 in a month solely based on the words I put out to the world, or the videos I've put together for all to see. I'm sure it's possible... I just don't really have a great knowledge of how to go about expanding the number of people my content hits. As far as I know it's sort of a waiting game to get more and more people to see my content and share it with others and have it continue from there. I don't know... I know it's possible, I just wish I knew how to make it happen faster and better and things. Perhaps I should start looking into getting into some kind of forums or something? There are so many options and so little time. I want to be successful but don't know if I have the time to wait for it to happen or if the process needs to be sped up by me putting more work into it. Perhaps this is just something I should take a little more time to think on.

     So here I am creating content for my own website. Perhaps not the most professional and amazing thing you've ever read, but it's me. There isn't any makeup hiding how I like to be or who I am. This is me on a day when I don't have a specific topic, just what comes out of my head as the day goes on. I think it's good to have a bit of a mixture between candid posts and ones that have been thought about more. It's good to be able to take some time to just post something every once in a while that doesn't require me to be all professional about it and give you all the proper details.

     This really gives me more time to think somewhat about how, if possible, I can make just a little bit more money than I am currently without getting a whole new job at the moment. I'd like to find something I can do (such as writing content for a blog) which could make me an extra 5 or 10 dollars every couple days. I'll have to look around and see if I can find anything to lead me in the right direction. More people to see my content and better content to attract more people; anything would help really. I think the most important thing though, is to keep at it; nothing will happen if I don't keep trying.

     Well, I think that's it for this post. I just thought I'd give you some idea of what's going through my head. Have a great day everybody! ^_^

~ Kyle

Sometimes it's just a short post about my thoughts.

     I've been told that people like reading my thoughts even if it's just something simple. So much so, that I should make a post every day, even if it's on nothing of interest. Well... I'll try to have something interesting to think about as often as possible. I can't promise having something to post about every day. Nor can I promise to have something interesting to think about on those days that I do post something. But I can make an effort to write more posts.

     I've thought about this a lot actually. If only I could be paid to write about my thoughts every day. Well... in theory... I COULD... but if that did happen, it would certainly take work and time. Not that that's a bad thing. I have a fantasy of finding something to enjoy doing every day and making money at it. Being successful at something I've created myself rather than being successful at a job that someone else came up with. I thought it was just a want to be a famous streamer or something... but after giving it some thought I realize that it's not just about a silly idea of playing games for a living... if I could play games, or write about things, or make artwork for a living and get paid for it... I think I would be really happy. I think it's that old creative me wanting to come out again.

     I used to be really creative. One of my best creations was a ship made out of popsicle sticks which I'll show a picture of. I've also had a couple drawings and paintings that I was really proud of that I unfortunately never got any pictures of and have been lost to the depths of moving multiple times. So now that I've had this time to think about things to myself, I have a better understanding of myself. Every time something new and significant happens, learn something new about myself and think that I must know all there is to know about me. And yet... I keep learning more about myself with every event. I'm a creative person. I know this... I just forgot about it.

     How can you forget about being creative? I know... it seems so silly that THAT could be possible; to forget something so significant about yourself. But when I think about it... it's not just something that I'm coming up with to try to be an interesting person. I'm not just making up stories to try to cope with having a crummy month earlier. I've done creative things that I've been proud of and others have recognized me for in the past. When I was a child, I used to play games with my friends that were all in our imagination. I loved being in impov in highschool. My favourite classes were the ones where we got to make funny videos and things. And heck, I still play table top games by myself, just because I think it's fun to think about everything going on even if it's on my own.

     I guess a person forgets about these kinds of things when being in school and worrying about money makes you think that you have to fit into some kind of cookie-cutter 9-5 job. I've tried really hard to understand these things and fit in and set myself up to be a guy with a good job and everything absolutely average and normal and all that. I think what really gave me this realization was watching a stream recently. LethalFrag gave this wonderful speech which really makes sense and I took to heart. He said, "If you don't like what you're doing, you're not going to enjoy your life. So find something you like to do, and do it. If you like cleaning and want to be a janitor for the rest of your life, be a janitor!" It's so simple. I don't know exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I do know that I want it to be something creative.

     Alright... so this wasn't quite as short as I thought it was going to be. Enjoy everybody and have a great day! ^_^

~ Kyle