Sick News!

Hey everyone, I have sick news! Carley isn't sick today! :D

Okay, now I don't want to make this into too big of a deal too soon, but we MAY be over the hump of sickness!!!

You seriously have no idea just how big of a deal this is for us to be at a point like this even for only one day because Carley hasn't had a single day of not being sick since like back in August when she first got pregnant. We tried all sorts of different options including Diclectin / Gravol, sleeping in all day, getting up at the crack of dawn, eating, not eating, and so much more! The result? Nothing worked. Only sick sick sick was found each and every day and it was weighing down upon her beginning to cause depression and anxiety.

The past couple days though... has been a miracle. See, Carley recently took herself into the hospital because she didn't know what else to do. She was feeling so sick and depressed that she felt she needed their help and was admitted into the mental health ward for assistance. The service there was absolutely fantastic, they listened to her and sought out a medication which would be safe for pregnancy which would help out with her depression and anxiety. She wasn't sure about taking any kind of medication but having trouble sleeping during the night drove her to try the suggested medication as it was supposed to help with sleeping at night as well.

This choice led Carley to waking up the following morning in the hospital with less than 8 hours of sleep, but feeling well-rested, mentally better.... and NOT SICK! Crazy, right? Now we won't know FOR SURE if this is a miracle solution until more time passes, but I'm pretty sure if this is still working after a month from now, we're probably in the clear. I know so far she's super happy even to have just a couple days of peace from puking and let me tell you I've seen such an improvement over only two days of happiness that I'm so hopeful for her to continue to feel amazing because I've missed seeing such a big smile on her face.

What have your experiences been like with pregnancy? Good? Bad? Share with me your stories and solutions of pregnancy and parenthood!

~ Kyle Welykholowa

What A Trooper

Back to Family / Life

=== Mind Over Matter ===

I've come to realize that everything I do is a matter off the mind. For some time now I've been searching for ways to improve my productivity. As it turns out, that answer has been under my nose this whole time. Or should I say... behind it.

There are all sorts of things online claiming they can improve your mental focus and clarity. Do any of them work? Maybe... but are they really worth the money? I don't think so. See, there's an alternative which I think many people forget about; including myself. That option is quite simply.... doing it.

I sort of had this epiphany a couple nights ago when I forced myself to go to my computer late at night rather than laying down on the couch and falling asleep. I ended up staying up all night streaming on twitch and felt great after that I had done something fun and productive. In fact, I felt so great about it that I then enthusiastically cleaned up the kitchen and prepared for the day. This was accomplished because I made a decision to do something.

It can be quite difficult to tell your body to do these things when it is do exhausted, but it can be done if you put your mind to it... As long as your brain isn't out of juice as well. Yes, things like caffeine can help; I prefer to avoid needing any though if I can help it. Although... there is a real spectacular boost when you're able to effectively combine both caffeine and brain power.

I've seen people shut down no matter how much they want to keep going... including myself. The biggest hurdle really is resisting what the body is asking for and instead doing what YOU want to do.

So what do you say? Will you join me in putting your mind over matter?

~ Kyle Welykholowa

=== My Extra Child - An Examination of Carley's Brain ===

     Now that's an interesting title, you must be saying to yourself. What could he possibly mean by that? Today I would like to tell you all about something very important to me. Three years ago when Carley picked me and I decided that she made me a happier person in my time of depression, I couldn't have imagined where it would bring me and what I would have to deal with to keep her in my life. Some people thought I was crazy, but I knew there was a reason why I would be drawn to her and feel a need to help her in her time of need.

     Today I find myself in a family with two adults, one dog, and two children. Those who know me would know at this point that Carley and I have only had one child together. Does that mean I've had another child with someone else previously? No it does not. See, Carley sort of accidentally brought a child of her own into our relationship. I realize this explanation isn't getting any better to understand at this point... it just sounds like one of us has an extra child, which is sort of true. See, Carley doesn't have an official diagnosis for multiple personalities, but I can confidently tell you that she absolutely has a complete additional personality.

     This personality came about when Carley was three years old and her name is Kylie. Currently through a process of having birthday whenever she has felt ready to grow, she identifies as being fifteen years old; though she will always have the characteristics of being three. So in essence, I have an extra child running around here sometimes whom I get to take care of. She's absolutely adorable and I love her in every way. It can be a little bit difficult when I'm exhausted and now I have to care for both Isabelle and Kylie at the same time, but for the most part it's really nothing at all. She started calling Carley and I mommy and daddy recently which is nice because we know she feels loved and cared for, which is something she requires to feel ready to grow as time goes on.

     How could I be so alright with this just... happening? Some may think I would have been alright with this because I was so madly in love with Carley at the time and we knew that she was pregnant, but that actually has nothing to do with it at all; well... I was madly in love with her, so that part is true. The thing is that we had already dealt with this sort of situation before. When Carley and I first met, she started having seizures shortly after getting hit in the head. These seizures left Carley in a bit of a silly state for a long time afterwords which a normal seizure event wouldn't do. We went through a whole process to finally find out that the seizures were psychological which is physically the same as regular seizures, only these tend to have more triggers as they are usually due to some traumatic event(s).

     As this process went on, I learned that she had another personality named Little Carley who was five. At first, she grew whenever she felt like she had completed some sort of milestone such as dressing herself or cooking her first sidekick all on her own, but eventually she realized she didn't really feel like she had grown and we figured out that she needed some sort of birthday celebration to make herself feel older. Yeah, sure this was weird and a bit annoying at first, but Little Carley quickly became a part of our little family and we figured it all out together.

     There was a lot of frustration and anger and many other feelings which were incredibly difficult, but we got through it all. Having someone in your life who has this going on is just... incredible. It's so hard to truly explain just how amazing of a journey this has been for us. I think it's unlikely that Carley will ever get an actual diagnosis for this because I don't think Kylie has any want to come out and introduce herself to the psychiatrist. So if you're needing some sort of documented proof by a medical professional, you're not likely to see one. However, I can tell you that this is incredibly rare and that even the medical professionals don't know very much about this phenomenon. There isn't anywhere readily available online or in easily findable books where you can learn about this. It's just not something that many people have, and I don't think there have been enough cases of this for there to be enough research to really know how this all works and what to do about it. Believe it or not, I think I'm one of the few people in the world who really has a great understanding of this phenomenon.

     As far as I can tell, at this point the psychiatrist believes this is a disassociation thing. I guess multiple personality disorder is not what the diagnosis would be called anymore, but I don't really like the thought of calling this Dissociative Identity Disorder because it's not just her acting differently or watching herself do something without being able to control herself. I can truly say this is a complete additional personality which could take control of Carley at will and has different thoughts and likes than she does. There's so much about this to talk about, but it's too much to let out all at once.

     Why am I revealing this to you? We have decided this is something we want to do for two reasons. The first is that this is a huge part of our lives and there are some situations where this can become a little bit strange. Obviously Carley and I go out places sometimes, but I also go out places with Kylie at times so some people do potentially see Carley acting in two different ways and they may have questions about this. Now, we really don't need to explain ourselves and if you don't believe us or if this makes you uncomfortable, then that's your problem; we're still going to go about our lives whether or not people support us. The second reason I feel it necessary to reveal this information is because mental health is a very difficult topic to discuss. There's so much more going on and mental health issues are so much more prevalent than anybody really knows, but we're all so afraid to talk about it out of fear that we will no longer be normal or we'll be judged so heavily if there's something wrong with us. This is the sort of thing we need to start talking about so that more people are comfortable coming forward with this valuable information.

     If anybody has any questions, feel free to comment on here, on Facebook, on Twitter, or anywhere else you might find this post. You're even welcome to email me directly with any questions at Kyle.Welykholowa@gmail.com. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

~ Kyle Welykholowa

=== Semester 3 Begins! ===

     Hard to believe the finals of last semester just happened a week ago and now here I am completing my first couple assignments today. I definitely wasn't expecting the final semester to begin so quickly but here we are starting the last leg of the journey (for the most part).

     It's been a tough road so far getting through all the classes. These days I don't have much energy to work with where I'm not physically exhausted. Some days I'm quite mentally exhausted as well, but for the most part I'm wanting to do so much and get so much done but I'm just not able to because my body wants to sleep. I know I'll be able to get through it all in the end, but right now it feels SO bad.

     Let's use tomorrow as an example. Tomorrow I want to work on my blog by making a post and promoting it. I also want to upload a video or two on my YouTube channel. I have hopes of wanting to play with the dog, steam clean the carpets, do a bit of writing, watch a show, work on school work, spend time with Carley, bake banana bread, go for a hike, play DDR, read a book, play a game on a console that I haven't played before, and probably more. There's so much I would love to do! Unfortunately I just don't really have the energy to do all of that in one day.

     It isn't all bad though. I'm sure I make it sound all awful, but seriously I actually think we're doing quite well at the moment. I'm super proud of myself for having made about $0.40 so far through my blog (which is a huge accomplishment for me!). And I'm still managing to find some time to do things other than be a vegetable or only work so much that I have no personality. Just give me a week or so from now and I think things might be a little better. Next coming month we're actually looking to be doing much better than we have been previously and oh boy I can't wait to tell you all about it!

~ Kyle Welykholowa

We're In The Hospital Again.

     What better time than now to go ahead and make a new blog post while sitting in the hospital... again. It seems like this past month has been going from one place of sitting to the next, just waiting for our baby to get here. We've been in the hospital a couple times for various reasons which I've explained in previous posts, but now it seems as though the time may actually be upon us.

     As we speak, it doesn't seem as though Carley is actually in labour. She said she has felt abnormally wet all day and had to change a couple extra times, but we didn't come in here for that reason. Today, we came in because there was some blood and thought it would be a good idea to come make sure everything is alright. As it turns out, the strip they use to test for amniotic fluid has tested positive and so it seems like her water has broken in some way which is at the very least, causing her to leak.

     At this time, I don't exactly know what the plan is YET, but it sounds like they would plan to induce her either tonight or tomorrow. On one hand, I was really hoping for April 2nd, of a birth-date... mostly because I'm just not ready yet. Carley says she's mentally ready for this to happen, but I don't think I am. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be ready for it whether it would happen tonight or tomorrow, or a week from now. Obviously I want to be a good parent, but I'm just not sure how I feel about everything. I'm excited that we're about to have a child pretty soon, but there's also so much I feel like I want to do with my life that I just haven't quite had the chance to do yet.

     Thankfully, most of what I want to do with my life at this time has to do with blogging, streaming, and content production; all of which would be much more fun to do if I didn't also have to do school. I don't mind doing school, but it feels like the timing just ended up being a little bit off. I'm definitely going to finish everything; I just feel like it's been an uphill battle trying to keep up and on top of school while trying to not go insane at the same time. So then I have content production of various kinds which I find to be quite calming and relaxing. This is not only a fun hobby for me, but also the sort of pass-time which I believe I could still do even with a baby growing into a child in the future.

     I have already made $0.05 through my blog at this point which drives me to work harder and get more done. Some days it's really hard to not either be too tired or too lazy to want to do anything. The same thing goes for my homework really. If I keep at it, this sort of thing could one day become a huge success and really help to support me and my family.

If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to let me know all about them! I love getting your feedback and would love more ways to keep you all coming back! ^_^

~ Kyle Welykholowa