My thoughts

     A lot has happened since last I made a post. Basically the whole world turned upside-down and Carley broke up with me. So here I am now with lots of time to myself to figure things out.

     I've made a few Facebook posts recently about how angry or frustrated I am with the situation but that really only shows one side of my thoughts. Yeah, I'm frustrated with what happened and I wish it were easy for me to just walk away and leave everything. I wish I could just stop loving her, but after all we went through together, it's just not that easy to make my feelings go away. I still love her very much and I wish this were all a bad dream. I wish everything would go back to the way it was before.

     If I were to tell the truth... I would say I would still be willing to take her back. Even though it probably sounds stupid that I would do so. I would still be willing to give her another chance on the condition that we did couples counseling together. Maybe that's dumb... Maybe I'm just a lunatic who doesn't know his way around anymore. I think what I should really do is consider honestly what I want in a relationship, and settle for nothing less. If she were willing to come back and give that a try, with counseling and everything, I would give her a chance. But at the same time, I can't wait forever for that possibility. If what I'm looking for came by... I couldn't just pass that by because of something that might be.

     So I suppose at this point I will honestly say that I love her still; Even if that makes me an idiot. And I would still take her back if she came to her senses. But at some point, I'll have to move on. If she doesn't come back or waits too long, then I can't keep staying around for her. I love you still, but without you I cannot love you forever. I love you Carley Dawn Larocque.